The Wrath Of Grapes

Corporate Idiocy

2006-08-09T21:21:00.000+10:00

Gotta love working for big corporate.

After 6 weeks writing a very sweet billing entry system (with all the bells and whistles), and sitting on my hands tweaking it for five weeks while I wait for a copy of the main production database to test against, the fecking project gets dropped. The day I get my database, it gets dropped. What a complete waste of time. Idiots.

Oh well, I guess it saves me having to debug the bloody thing, or maintain it, or deal with luser questions... so there is a bright side to it all in the end.

Even better, I go to Europe in two weeks for about 7 weeks. Coolies.

Potty Training

2006-05-30T22:50:00.000+10:00

I got this email from my brother today, which is a gem. Thought I'd share it in it's unedited glory...

The players in the email:
Dan - My brother, and father of Snail
Snail - My niece, more properly known as Sarah, 18 months old-ish

Newsflash.....
We broke new ground this morning - Sarah had a win on the toilet!! The beginning of the end of nappies is upon us. Giddy Up.

Let me talk you through it...

We have been talking up the potty to the snail for the past couple of weeks. She does like sitting on it though she also likes putting her bath toys in it so I'm sure it's full potential has never been realised. So, on the weekend we bought one of those padded seats that goes on the toilet. Now that is the gear. Complete with glow in the dark stars and a convenient hook for stowage when not required, it really is a 5 star appliance.

After a lengthy sales pitch and a couple of familiarisation sessions over the weekend, Sarah was starting to see the benefits over the potty. However, it was really after breakfast this morning that things stepped up a notch. The snail gave the signal and it was game on. As we had practiced in our training runs, I had the tap on promote just the right ambience and after a couple of minutes we were rewarded with a small though deeply satisfying plop.

It was high fives all round with much back slapping and frivolity. Sarah was all for a celebratory round down at the local though we had to remind her that it is still early days, and she shouldn't take her eye off the ball just yet.

Updates will follow when more news comes to hand.

Dan

(Under)employed at last

2006-02-16T19:00:00.000+11:00

Well, I got a job. And I thought sitting around at home all day watching crap tell was boring. This new job is driving me nuts. The network is like a home network (200-odd employees on a feckin' workgroup - no domain controller!), the processes are non-existent, the software has more band-aids than a Johnson and Johnson factory... Need I go on.

And I'm bored. Granted I've only been there two days, and so am still finding my way around the joint, but still. In two days I've been assigned two things to fix. Total time to fix them was about 25 minutes. So I've filled the other 15 hours and 35 minutes just sitting there, installing crap (getting my own personal wiki going for amusement), looking through the network (cos there's no domain controller, there's no security on the directories), and more sitting there.

After I finished my 25 minutes work this morning, I asked what the test and deploy process (what process?) was, and got told, with a straight face, that I was working too quick and needed to slow down...

This job is going to be the death of me. My brain will rot through inactivity.

Birthday...

2006-02-06T23:58:00.000+11:00

Oh, and I turned 31 the other day. Yay me!

Now, where's that grey covering hair dye...

Unemployed Bum

2006-02-06T23:48:00.000+11:00

Well, I'm still unemployed, and LOVING it... (aside from the whole no money deal). Had another interview today. Do you think that you can be too honest in an interview? I told them that while the contract might be for six months with an almost guaranteed extension until hell freezes over, I really didn't want to go longer than six months. Not really sure how well that went down, but what can you do...? I have no idea if I'm going to like working for big corporate (probably not), or if big corporate is going to be able to put up with my shit (again, probably not), so I have no plans to over commit myself.

Guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

(PS. How much do recruiters suck? The correct answer is 'shitloads' - they would have to be the most annoying semi-sentient beings on the planet, apart from certain right wing western politicians, engin IT staff (who still haven't rung me back), people who are intolerant of other people, the Dutch..... oh, and Hugh Jackman.)

All over, red rover

2005-12-27T13:59:00.000+11:00

Well, after nine years, I've left Redgum and am currently unemployed for the first time in my life. Sitting down at the moment writing my first ever resume, which has got to be the most boring things to do known to man (after plastering and painting interior walls).

It's all a little strange to be honest. I guess we'll see how it all goes in the near future as yours truly tries to find his first ever "real" job.

On another note, I got a tre cool coffe grinder to match the espresso machine. Way happy. Hope you all had a good Christmas.

A little less cranky...

2005-12-02T16:51:00.000+11:00

Day 5. Still going strong...

Cranky pants...

2005-12-01T15:34:00.000+11:00

Still cranky, but not as much...

The Very Cranky Caterpillar

2005-11-30T09:06:00.000+11:00

... and he was still cranky ...

Feeling cranky...

2005-11-29T08:36:00.000+11:00

Grrrrrr.

The coffee machine again

2005-11-11T21:26:00.000+11:00

Finally managed to locate the photo I took with my sister's camera of the coffee machine (see post below) in situ on my kitchen bench.

It just seems to sit very nicely next to the toaster (which would have to get my vote for "Appliance Of The Millenium", potentially over and above the wheel).

Sometimes I amaze myself

2005-11-11T21:15:00.000+11:00

You'd think, what with me having a computer science degree and all, that I could get a stupid Xitami web server and PHP installed on my home PC.

But no. I'm shagged if I know what I screwed up. The web server works OK, but the cgi bit is stuffed and php doesn't want to know about me (and who can blame it really, if I can't get the web serer install right?)

Give me the right irrates, it would.

At least I can still get the top off of a beer, so all is not yet lost. Beer goggles improve many things - potentially even web server installations.

Rain...

2005-11-03T08:41:00.000+11:00

Never thought I'd say this, but it's raining at the moment so...

"It's good for the garden"

Which sadly, is quite true. Saves me watering the garden.

I feel so old.

Watching grass grow...

2005-11-01T15:40:00.000+11:00

Cup Day public holiday - it's 30C outside, and I'm working. Well, sort of working. Done some training, fixed my subscriptions program (managed to stuff up the last build), and I've maanged to reprogram our old phone system so that it works with VOIP. So that's pretty cool.

Got into gardening recently. Not really sure why, although I don't mind a bit of a relax in the old backyard. My backyard was majorly overgrown with this monstrous jasmine (which was probably 40 years old). Ripped that out, plus cut down a couple of small trees (what do you mean "it's a rental property"?), replanted the grass and some shrubs and stuff ('stuff' being the technical term for any sort of plant your mother tells you to plant, but which you have never heard of).

They say it's like watching grass grow, but it really is - the grass grows very quickly, so every night when I go home, I inspect the newly risen blades, and contemplate the possibilities once I am the owner of a luxuriant lawn...

I quite like watching grass grow...

Welcome to Cafe Matt

2005-10-24T09:08:00.000+10:00

When I was a little tacker, the best days of my life were probably the summer holidays when the hard rubbish collections were on. I'd spend all day, every day, patrolling the streets for all things useful and not so useful, which I would proceed to cart home, display proudly to Mum, who would smile ruefully, live with the newly aquired item for the next two hours, after which it would then end up on the ever expanding hard rubbish pile out the front of our house.

You'd think at 30, I would have grown out of this by now, but some things just never change....

The other night, I'm wandering home from the pub up my street, and it's hard rubbish time. I've been casting a seasoned eye over the offerings for the last few weeks, and I think times must be lean, 'cos the pickings aren't fantastic.

Well, at least they weren't until I spotted a little glint under the street light that turned out to be an expresso machine that someone was chucking out. It looked like it was in decent nick, but why would anyone throw a working coffee machine out?

So I rescued it and wandered homewards, discovering in the process that there are quite a number of bits that can fall off a coffee machine that I wasn't previously aware of ... eventually got home, placed said coffee machine in a strategic position on the kitchen bench (dead centre), and went to bed.

The next night when I get home from work, my sister asks me about the coffee machine. It looks pretty new, so she's under the impression that I've been spending my hard earned readies on extravagent kitchen appliances. When I tell her I salvaged it from the front lawn of number 89 down the road, she becomes a little more sceptical.

A few days pass ... the coffee machine is still dead centre of the kitchen bench, now looking a little forlorn ...

The weekend rolls around, and I've been the proud owner of a coffee machine of dubious heritage for all of four days. My sister was obviously blessed with more patience than Mum when it comes to all things hard rubbish, as so far she lasted those four days without mentioning the newly aquired item. But I could only hope for so much leniency. "Fix it or chuck it" comes the ultimatum, so I figure it's time to test the little beastie out.

Surprisingly, the drippy part of the machine worked straight up, but the steamer was knackered. Out came the socket set, and the little brass steamer lug thing came off. Inside that steamer was about 4 cubic metres of crap, which was easily extracted using a pin head. Once that highly technical process was complete (six hours and thirty three minutes later), the steamer worked a treat. A bit of decalcifying of the internals, and we were away....

Discovered that this espresso machine is a current model (or so Myer tells me), and is worth about $200. So all round, very happy with the outcome.

Here's a picture of it (not the actual one - can't seem to find the JPEG I took of it). Mine didn't come with the cakes pictured though...

The Amazing First Post

2005-10-21T14:40:00.000+10:00

I have a blog! Very exciting in a geeky sort of way.

With any luck, this won't be the last post either. I guess it all depends on whether I have anything remotely worthwhile to say, which currently I don't.